Friday, September 12, 2014

Five Minute Friday: Ready

Back with this weeks Five Minute Friday. If you would like to join in on the flash mob of writers that use a prompt word to write for five minutes every Friday, click the link on the right side of my blog.

Ready

Be ready. I hate those two words when it comes to being in the military. It is usually followed with "...deployment." It's how it always starts. Be ready for your husband to deploy. Be ready for the chance that we are deploying. Be ready. Even now, knowing my husband is non-deployable, my heart races a little faster when someone in uniform says it. Maybe it's a little silly. People use those words in every day life, but my life isn't normal. My marriage has never been normal. We have spent more than half of it apart, with him in a foreign country fighting for our freedom. As proud as I am for what he has done, it has never been easy. There is nothing easy or refreshing or fun about being separated from your best friend for months at a time. So when something triggers the memory of him leaving (white buses do this to me MAJORLY) then I react. Heart pounding, breath caught in my throat, hands shaking. Don't take my husband again. It's a visceral reaction. It happens in a split second. There is no controlling it. Then it passes and I'm calm again. Most people would never even know it happened. Most people will never see and understand my thoughts. And that is okay because I do not wish for everyone to live this life. I stand tall and proud of the choice my husband has made but I do not want anyone to feel the pain of deployment. I love those who have suffered through it alongside me but I don't wish it on anyone.


STOP.