Thursday, August 7, 2014

When Does Your Fandom Become "Fan-don't?"

There has been a huge uproar lately about a certain book being made into a movie. Of course I'm talking about 50 Shades of Grey. I have read several blog posts and articles about it. Call in curiosity at what the world is thinking. Some I have agreed with, some I have loved, and some have just been out right offensive.

Now being a christian and a sort of "feminist" ( I use quotes because I don't find I fit the mainstream idea of a feminist these days) it seems pretty obvious what my thoughts on this "literature" is. It disgusts me. I find nothing about it romantic or fun or exciting. There is nothing about it that entices me. I will NEVER watch that movie. It is the same as porn to me. So is the book. Which makes it hypocritical to read/watch this story and yet expect your husband to only have eyes for you.

But this post is not just another bash 50 Shades post. I'm not going to repeat everything you have already heard about it though it does have to do with what I'm discussing. And it leads into it perfectly.

Fandoms come in all sorts. Some top popular ones currently are Harry Potter, Twilight, Downtown Abby, and Game of Thrones. A fandom is defined by Wikipedia as a term used to refer to a subculture composed of fans characterized by a feeling of sympathy and camaraderie with others who share a common interest. They can be really great ways to make friends and have people to share your love of certain things with. However, is there a point where they become too much? I think there is.

Now we all are used to our little teens swooning over their celebrity/fiction loves. It is part of growing up, like a passage into our awkward years, and as long as they don't go all creepy stalker about it then it isn't really a big deal. But is it ok for adults to be a part of fandoms? I think yes. To a point. As long as they keep a rational thought to it. But when middle-aged women, obviously going through a midlife crisis, show up to movies and scream like a lovesick teenie bopper then I become concerned. I mean come on ladies, lets act a little more sane then our hormonal teens. I have no issue with getting excited about meeting celebrities or really enjoying some fictional character, but when it starts effecting your every day life then it has become a problem. However, the biggest PROBLEM is that we don't seem to realize that it IS effecting our life. Because for some weird reason, women have set a major double standard in our society today. We expect our husbands to be the perfect, doting man who never have eyes for anyone else. We freak out if they glance at some young girl walking by. We nearly die if we see them staring too long at a Victoria's Secret add. And lets not even get started about them looking at porn. I'm not saying that men shouldn't be wonderful husbands who are completely faithful to their wives in both body and mind. That is exactly how men should be. They should respect us. However, we as women should be just as loyal and respectful towards our husbands. And being openly obsessed with fictional characters is the complete opposite of that.

Have you ever stopped to think how saying things like "I wish I was Bella" or "I wish Christian would hold me in his arms" makes your man feel? How about going on and on about if certain men were "hot enough" to play your fave characters? If the roles were reversed, how would it make you feel? Angry? Self-conscience? Hmmmm....interesting thought right? Just because we are the more emotional sex doesn't mean that men don't have any emotions at all. We don't have the right to be disrespectful to our marriage either. Just because your affair is with a fictional character doesn't make it any less of an affair. Yes, I said affair. It is the harsh truth. It is an emotional affair and it is just as damaging as a physical one.

Grim reality is that we need to wake up! It's time to be a little more mature and a little more humble. Enjoy your fandoms but don't let them become your fantasies. Don't let your love of books and tv shows make your husband feel like he isn't enough for you. How about tonight you put that book down or turn off that TV and make sure he knows just how wonderful you think he is. After all, he is the real thing. He is the one who actually loves you. He is the one who chose you over all else. He is your Edward. He is your Christian (if your really into that.) You are his everything and he really should be yours.

So as my friend Cassie said, you can have your Team Jacobs and your Team Edwards. I'm on Team Mariah & Brandon. I personally think it is the best team. =)

Keep L i/o ving!