This life. It's perfect. My heart fills with happiness every morning that I wake up next to my best friend. I'm lifted up by wonderful friends from all over the world as I message back and forth with people on Facebook. Sometimes, my heart seems so full I think it could burst. This is what everyone speaks about when they say the word "happy."
This may seem like a small thing to most people but for me it is huge. I'm the girl who forces a smile. I'm the one who cries when there seems to be nothing to cry about. I'm the one who shies away from the term "depression" simply because of the stigma attached to it. But I'm the girl who has it.
I've spent a good part of my life struggling to hide the symptoms and most of the time I do really well. Others, not so much. I'm adept at hiding away in my own home and not venturing out into the beautiful world. That way I can keep in hidden. But the reality of it all is I'm just making it worse this way. I'm emptying my life of anything worth while. I'm taking perfection and manipulating it into darkness.
When I choose to open my eyes and really look at my life, I realize that I have something amazing sitting right in front of me. My husband. My family. My friends. My God. They make up everything that I need. I am blessed. Truly blessed. And when I let that thought sink in, I come the the realization that I am full. Love. It fills me. It surrounds me. Love = perfection and we can't ask for anything else.