Saturday, October 4, 2014

Learning To Love Those Who Don't Deserve It

There are a lot of people who come in and out of our lives who are VERY difficult to love. I pretty much run into it every day in the military. My least favorite people in this world (other than murders and those obvious choices) are people who use their power to cause pain to others, whether it be physical or emotional. I'm totally a mother hen in every way and if you become someone I care about you better believe I will go to bat for you over everything. Just ask some of the single soldiers my husband served with. =) It also carries over to people I feel need protecting in any way. This covers people being taken advantage of. It just really ruffles my feathers. I get all red in the face, puff up, and get ready for battle. My husband has had to beg me not to say things more than once because I'm so ready to take on a commander, screw the consequences.

More difficult than even these people though are those who are outright evil. Who kill and torture and destroy everything beautiful in the world for whatever their insane reason is.  Those people do not deserve love. They deserve nothing but hate and aggression given right back to them. They deserve to have done to them what they are doing to people. Currently, the number one group who are like this that come to most people's minds are the members of ISIS. If you are unfamiliar with who ISIS is then you have been living under a rock and should really go read some news articles right now. No really...go read them and come back later.

So here's the thing. ISIS and their supporters are easy to hate. They do awful things. They kill innocent people and broadcast it. They call for their followers to slaughter those who refuse to become Islamic. They believe that unless you bow down to their rule and their beliefs then you don't deserve to live. They have attacked and slaughter hundreds of people. How could these people receive anything but unbiased hate from those who are decent humans? Well, for the most part they don't. The world hates them with no reserve. I constantly see Facebook posts and Tweets about maiming ISIS members. About how the postee would like to do the same awful things to these people as they are doing to others. And I completely understand. I am HORRIFIED by what ISIS members have done. It makes me sick to think about all the threats they have made. Some of those threats have directly affected my husband and my friends. My husband and I have been forced to set up plans for what to do if we are attacked at home. Yes, hating them is easy and it makes sense. Our human nature even makes us feel that it is the right thing to do. But here is the thing, it's not.

I refuse to hate ISIS and those who follow them. That may come as a shock to you, due to their evil and hatred. Especially since they have called for their followers in the US to attack and kill soldiers. Don't get me wrong, I don't agree with anything they are doing or saying. I think they are awful people with evil ideas. However, hate has never healed anything. Hate can not heal the broken hearts of those who have lost loved ones to these maniacs. Hate can't stop the stupid actions of others. All it does is spread more anger and pain. It traps you. Leaves you feeling sick, feeling dirty. Hate hurts you the most. Because it doesn't bother the people you are hating. They don't care if you like them. They want you to be angry because then they have won. No, I won't hate the misguided...I just pity them instead.

I feel pity because of how lost they are. They are doing nothing but blackening their souls and damning themselves. I pity them for the life full of anger and hate they live. I can't imagine the pain that creates within the body. We are not meant to be hateful creatures. We are meant to love and share that love. There have been studies done on how anger, hate, and other negative feelings physically effect us. The results were never good. How awful to live a life where you have nothing but those emotions. They have no idea what love feels like. They don't understand the freeing feeling that comes from forgiving those who have wronged you. They don't get to experience peace and tranquility. The have never felt the Lord's arms around them. The idea that they never experience positive emotions because they have chosen a life full of negativity is a depressing one. When I focus on that fact, I feel pain and sadness for them. I can't hate someone who is so broken.

Returning hate with love is the only hope we have of ever changing the lives of those who are lost. If we hate them back all it does is validate their beliefs. Love throws them off. It confuses them. We can only hope that with enough love we may be able to change the minds of some. We will never be able to change everyone, they have their own free will and many are not willing to let go of the darkness in them. However, banishing the hate and anger in a single person is worth it. And erasing that anger could save hundreds of others. We never can see the total reach of love as it spreads.

I was commanded by my Father in Heaven to "love one another as I have loved you." He didn't say "love those who are easy to love" or "love only those that you want to love." No, he told me to love and forgive everyone. And that is what I'm going to strive for. It won't be easy. I'm going to fail at times and have to try again but I will continue to choose love over hate. It is what is needed of me and it is what is best for me. I want this world full of love and it has to start somewhere, why not with me. Why not let it start with you too?

Keep L i/o ving.

Friday, September 26, 2014

Five Minute Friday: Because

If you haven't read my post before and seen my description of Five Minute Friday then shame on you and go read them. Then you can join in. =)
Five minutes. Write what comes out. No editing. Post. Here it goes.


Because I love you. That simple statement revolves around my life. It has shaped me into who I am.

As a child I was never good at following rules. It got even worse as a teenager. I was never that kid you could say "Don't do this" and I would just listen. I always had to know "why." But just being told why wasn't good enough, I had to try it for myself. Tell me "Don't touch the stove, it is hot and will burn you" meant that sure as the sun rises I was going to touch that stove just to make sure no one was lying to me. All of this added up to one poor mother losing her hair and sleep over me. I have to take responsibility for all her grey hairs. The poor woman had her hands full. No normal lady could have handled raising the nightmare that I was. But she did it. She never gave up on me. Despite all our fighting and disagreeing, I have never doubted her intent. Whether it was following a party or her announcing how long I was grounded this time, she always made sure that I knew why she did everything that she did. "Because I love you."

Just as my mother has always been there for me, I have always known there was someone else guiding me along my path. My Father in Heaven has never left me on my own either. Even though there were times in my life that I pushed away from him hard. There were days I refused to pray, believing he couldn't possibly care about me. Yet every time I have found myself on my knees, I have felt his presence. He has blessed me immensely in my life which shows his obvious love. However, there are times in my life that are riddled with trials that I don't always feel like I can handle. At times I feel like I just can't take anymore and I don't understand why the Lord is allowing me to hurt so much. But in both cases, blessing or trials, the answer is always the same. "Because I love you."

My husband has the same loyalty. No matter what I do he never falters in his love for me. I can yell, scream, cry, refuse to get up in the morning and he is still there. Every day he tells me I am beautiful and encourages me to keep going. He tells me that he will always be there. He agreed to spend eternity by my side and he has never once showed any sign of regretting that choice. Sometimes, upon realizing just how flawed I am, I ask why he sticks around. His answer is always the same. "Because I love you."

 I am surrounded by love in my life. That makes me extremely lucky. It leaves my heart full and overflowing. It leaves me able to spread love to those around me. That is what I want to strive for every day. To love those all those around me. To brighten the lives of everyone I come in contact with even just a little bit. Just a smile helps. Or taking a moment to get to know a stranger. One day I hope I am blessed to have children of my own that I can raise filled with love. If I am half the mother that my mom was I will be lucky. I want to be what my Father asks of me, to love as he loves. So if I meet you on the street just know that this is what my smile is saying to you, "Because I love you."

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Five Minute Friday: Hold

Five Minute Friday is a flash mob of writers who get together every Friday with a "prompt word" and write for five min then post. No editing, no second guessing your ideas. You just write what the word first brings to your mind and let it flow out. Join us! I have a button link on the right side of my blog! >>>>>>>>>>

Some background on this piece. I believe that there was a life before this one where we lived with God as spirits. We had a very personal relationship with Him, each and everyone of us. He loved us then just as he loves us now. We were sent to this Earth to gain knowledge and things that we needed in order to grow and move forward. We will return to our Father's side after this life. This is a sort of interaction that I could see happening as we were headed down to Earth. Whether you believe the same as me or not, try reading this and picturing yourself in this situation. Does it not feel beautiful. =)


"Hold me. Don't let go." She pressed her face into his shoulder as his arms wrapped around her, comforting and safe.

His voice was deep and soothing. A voice that brought warmth to her heart. "It's okay, child. Though it will seem a long time, you will only be gone mere minutes to me."

"So you won't forget me?"

"I could never forget you. I love you. You are very dear and special to me."  A chuckle was in his voice.

"But Father, what if I can't do this? What if I get lost?"

"You are strong and smart. I have equipped you with everything you will need. You will have a loving family and a strong group of friends. But most important, you will have your heart. That beautiful, pure heart. Trust it. It will never mislead you. It will bring you home to me." His arms were warm as he pulled her in again, hugging her tight. "And I will be waiting. I will be watching. You only have to call out to me and I will be there. I will never leave you to deal on your own. Even when you feel far away from me and think I'm not listening, I will be there. I will see every tear and cry with you. I will feel every heartbreak and my heart will break with yours. I will hear every laugh and laugh along. No matter the pain or the happiness, I will embrace it with you. And when the wind blows through your hair or the sun shines on your face, know it is me comforting you."

She looked up into his loving eyes. "Do you promise, Father."

His face lit up into a glowing smile as he stared down into his most prized creation. "I promise, my dear child. You are my princess. Now hurry along. It is your turn on Earth."

He released his hold on her and she started to scamper away. But she turned back, eyes wide. He smiled again and said, " Remember child, always remember, I love you." Her face shone with the most beautiful smile he had ever seen and she left. His eyes turned toward Earth, far below, and saw her there. "See you soon, my dear one."

Friday, September 12, 2014

Five Minute Friday: Ready

Back with this weeks Five Minute Friday. If you would like to join in on the flash mob of writers that use a prompt word to write for five minutes every Friday, click the link on the right side of my blog.


Be ready. I hate those two words when it comes to being in the military. It is usually followed with "...deployment." It's how it always starts. Be ready for your husband to deploy. Be ready for the chance that we are deploying. Be ready. Even now, knowing my husband is non-deployable, my heart races a little faster when someone in uniform says it. Maybe it's a little silly. People use those words in every day life, but my life isn't normal. My marriage has never been normal. We have spent more than half of it apart, with him in a foreign country fighting for our freedom. As proud as I am for what he has done, it has never been easy. There is nothing easy or refreshing or fun about being separated from your best friend for months at a time. So when something triggers the memory of him leaving (white buses do this to me MAJORLY) then I react. Heart pounding, breath caught in my throat, hands shaking. Don't take my husband again. It's a visceral reaction. It happens in a split second. There is no controlling it. Then it passes and I'm calm again. Most people would never even know it happened. Most people will never see and understand my thoughts. And that is okay because I do not wish for everyone to live this life. I stand tall and proud of the choice my husband has made but I do not want anyone to feel the pain of deployment. I love those who have suffered through it alongside me but I don't wish it on anyone.


Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Because I Promised: An Injured Soldier Story

This is a difficult topic for my family. It has taken us awhile to be willing to share it. I'm panicking a little now as I go to post it. Our hope is that it will help someone going through the same thing. My husband has given permission to tell his story. He has read this and edited it for his comfort.

Weight of War
©2014 Mariah Green

Loving a soldier is difficult just as that. But very seldom does it stop there and loving an injured soldier can become even more difficult. When you face deployment and the job a soldier does, you face the reality that your spouse could become injured and even disabled. Just in 2012, there were 2,447 wounded soldiers in the Afghan conflict alone. Unfortunately, the type of work makes getting hurt common. However, reality is that when something happens it is still just as shocking and alarming as with anyone else. You just can't be prepared for something like that.

At least I didn't feel prepared for the call I got. "Hey, babe. I'm in the hospital. No don't cry. I'm ok...but they think I broke my back." I will NEVER forget that day. It was horrible. Now I was lucky enough to have my husband be the one to call which obviously told me he was alive and well enough to be talking. But at the same time he gave me horrible news and the pain in his voice was like knives in my gut. And I was helpless. I wanted nothing more than to run to his side and hold his hand, but he was 1000s of miles away in another country where I couldn't get to him. He was only on the phone with me for a few minutes and he left with the promise of calling when they had results.

My husband's accident did not break his back. That was the good part. It did, however, leave him with significant spinal disk damage both in his lower back and his neck. For anyone who has dealt with bulging or herniated disks you understand all the complications and pain that can come from it. Which is exactly what he is dealing with. Not to mention he has a lingering TBI. These are things common to soldiers. In fact they have estimated that there have been 5,644 new cases of TBIs in the military just this year. What isn't normal are the strange symptoms that he has...and it seems like new ones are surfacing every day. No one seems to have answers for them. Not just on how to treat them but for even why they are happening. For the first two years after his accident, not much was done. No one took him serious. There were a few tests here and there but the end result was always just take more pills. Our belief is that modern medicine, which includes pills, has its time and its place but that it shouldn't be your first choice of remedy. We would much rather have the problem fixed rather than masked. Which I guess would lead me into explaining exactly what he has going on.

It started with pretty normal things. He had chronic severe headaches along with some memory issues, common for people who have suffered a TBI. He obviously has pretty severe back pain as well. But each of these things have progressed from normal pain into things that are not only excruciating but debilitating in ways. He now has sciatic nerve pain that causes him to feel like there are hot knives being ran up and down his legs. He rarely can stand up without walking around in a way that we lovingly refer as "like a Disney witch." He developed a stutter and he has a very hard time concentrating. Working out has become almost impossible for him due to random dizzy spells that are most prominent when his heart rate is up. These are all things he has been living with for years. However, for no apparent reason all of these problems have seemed to exploded all at once which has sent him spiraling into a dark place. Add in some sleep issues and you have the humbling word "MedBoard"* fall from your doctor's lips.

All of his injuries have caused lifestyle changes. It made some things we used to do impossible and other things became necessary. Some days we have to cancel plans to do anything because he is just in too much pain. Activities have been cut short from the onset of a sudden migraine. There are weekends where he does nothing but sleep. I'm having to learn to appreciate a different man because he came back changed in more than physical ways. You don't see the things he has and been through what he has and not be effected on an emotional level. He is often moody. There are times where he won't interact with me much, where I feel like I'm having to drag every word from his mouth. These are things that have been going on for awhile. But these changes have not made my husband any less loving and wonderful. It hasn't made me love him any less. I have grown to expect them and accept them. I did think we knew about all his symptoms though. I wasn't expecting a new one to come roaring in like a hurricane.

My husband has always been a very independent person. He is also very proud. It's a fault, he'll be the first to admit it. I think this played into why he took so long to tell me about his newest developing problem. When he finally did, he told me with eyes down and a defeated tone in his voice. I was stunned into silence. I knew he had been sleeping poorly for awhile but I had no idea it had been effecting him this badly. There had been a few lighthearted mentions of falling asleep at stoplights but I had laughed it off as just a random happening. But looking at him right then, I was kicking myself for not hearing his cry for help earlier. With embarrassment etched across his face, he admitted it was much more than what he had mentioned before. Not only was he falling asleep at several lights on a daily basis, he was also beginning to fall asleep while driving. I was horrified and wanted to cry. He could have died. He could have hurt someone else. It was like waking up to find you were living in your nightmare. I had to remind myself several times during his confession that he HADN'T been hurt and now that I was aware I could make sure he never was. That was the moment we realized life as we knew it was changing majorly. He couldn't drive anymore. There was no explanation for why he was falling asleep. It happened without any pattern and at random. We couldn't know when he would be safe or unsafe. And so independence on both our parts came to a sort of end. So did my love of sleeping in. I took on the job of being my husband's driver.

Let me just take a moment to explain what being my husband's chauffeur entails. We live about 20 min away from post. With traffic in the mornings it can take us 25 min to get to his work. He has to be at work by no later than 6 (but with the military early is better.) We get up at 5 to gather everything together and be ready to leave in time. I drop him off and he has to take all his stuff with him to shower and change at work because I would otherwise have to wait in the car for an hour. Then the day begins. Some days it is simple. I just pick him up at the end of the day. He walks to get lunch and bums a ride from his soldiers if they have to be somewhere else. But with all his health problems he has a LOT of doctor appointments. So there are several days a week that I spend driving back to get him for an appointment and then waiting at the library for the next appointment. Lets just say I've been getting a ton of reading done.

And it is no picnic for him. Do you have any idea how much independence you have to give up when you aren't allowed to drive yourself anywhere? Not only does he struggle with feeling trapped but he feels guilty for making others drive him. He can't come home to shower and have breakfast after PT. He has to bring everything with him and get ready at work. He doesn't get to come home for lunch unless he is lucky enough to have an appointment near noon and then we can go out together for a rushed meal. He has to wait for me to get to him every time he is done working. Sometimes he is forced to walk to places.

Other things in our life suffer too. We pay more for gas now due to all the back and forth. We spend more money on food because often we only have time to get something on the run.  The house basically looks like a tornado hit it at all times. I never seem to manage to finish chores that I start. I was supposed to have a part time job to help ends meet but I can't do that now. 

At times it gets completely overwhelming. Sometimes there is nothing left to do but sit in your car and cry. And I've done just that. I've laid my head on the steering wheel and just sobbed. Cried because I was losing hope. Cried because I felt completely drained, like I had nothing left to give. I just didn't have the energy to continue on. I wanted to give up. I cried and I prayed. And it was okay. It is okay for me to feel like this. It is okay to give in to the tears and the heartache. It is okay to turn to God when I have nothing left and ask him for help. Because after it all, I get back up each time and pushed forward, renewed with new energy and hope from the Lord. I keep going, knowing that I am not alone in this. Knowing that this is what the Lord asks of me. Knowing this is what my husband needs of me. 

Please don't get the wrong idea. I do not write this to complain or to get sympathy. I do not talk about my husband's pain to get attention. We have chose to share our story because we want to make people aware of what some families might be going through. We want to spread understanding and support. We hope that maybe, just maybe, our story will help someone else who feels like giving up. We want to send out hope and strength. Know that you are not alone. Know that you CAN get through this.

I will not say this is easy. I won't insult myself with that lie. Everything is still a work in progress. Doctors are still looking for answers. I won't say that there hasn't been times that I wanted to give up, that I think longingly of a life without it all. It hurts to see him hurting. It sucks to feel helpless at times. It is hard to give up dreams for something that seems so unfair. But I will not leave. Because I love him. Because this is not his fault. Because he sacrificed everything for me and this country. Because it could be a lot worse than it is. Because he is a wonderful man despite any of his illnesses. Because I am not that kind of woman. Because I promised.

Credit to Katydid Photography

* A MedBoard or MEB (Medical Evaluation Board) is an informal process comprised of at least two physicians who compile, assess, and evaluate the medical history of a Soldier and determine if the Soldier meets, or will meet, retention standards. If the Soldier meets retention standards, the Soldier is returned to duty in their respective or current Military Occupational Specialty (MOS).


Friday, September 5, 2014

Five Minute Friday: Whisper

Back again with Five Minute Friday. We get a prompt word each Thursday and then we take five minutes on Friday to write whatever that word brings to mind. It's a write and post. No editing, no deleting. It's a wonderful exercise if you enjoy writing. Come join us!


The tickle of a breeze,
©2013 Mariah Green
The kiss from grass,
Leaves dancing through the trees,

A sprinkling rain,
A trickle of water,
Soft snow falling on your lane,

The purr of a kitten,
The sigh of a lover,
Warm hands inside of mittens,

A heartfelt prayer,
A tear on your cheek,
Wrapped up in arms that care,

Friday, August 22, 2014

Five Minute Friday: Change

New Five Minute Friday post. If you want to learn more about it and join in, go to the button over on the right of my blog. >>>>>>

Change. It's a scary thing. Most of us try to avoid it at all costs. Because it can be overwhelming and stressful. Routines are comfortable and reassuring and we know what is expected. Even people who claim to be spontaneous all the time get nervous when a large change is before them. The good news is that most of us also know that this is dealt with by just jumping into it and getting the change over with.  But what about those times when you really want change? When you are desperate for it...and it isn't happening. How do you deal with that?

I haven't figured it out. I pray. I hope. I try to have faith. But sometimes it is hard. Very hard. When even the smallest change in a situation is what you are hoping for and everything is staying exactly the same, it can become the most discouraging and frustrating thing in your life. It consumes me. All my hopes and wishes come back around to this needed change. All my questions of why and what am I doing wrong are about it. I can't move past it. I don't know where the next step is. I slip, I fall, I barely hang on. Do I let go and fall the rest of the way? Do I give up? Or do I clasp on a little harder and keep praying for Him to reach out and pull me up?

Change. It can be good or bad but it is never easy.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Happiness in a Whistle

My favorite moment in the morning is not drinking my tea like most people might think. It's the moment right after I wake up, when I'm lying in bed and my husband is up getting ready for work. He starts to whistle absentmindedly while shaving and I just smile. I love this moment. It is perfection. My heart swells with love. It happens almost every morning. I look forward to it every day. I lay there quietly just waiting. It is like a reminder each morning that this is a fresh start, a new beautiful day. He is my little songbird. I love him.

It's the simple things in life that make it worth it. That is something that people say all the time but I'm finally really seeing it. The true beauty in the world is small things. Things that you have to slow down and appreciate. And without them, life loses the shiny luster that make it amazing. A kiss. A touch. A breeze at the right time. A flower blooming. A hidden trail discovered. The world becomes an adventure, becomes a eruption of colors, sounds, and smells. It truly turns into something like a gorgeous painting but it is all up to you to make it that way.

Peeking Woods
©2013 Mariah Green

Too often in this life, we rush through it, ignoring the soft whispers of true pleasure.This world is all loud noises and busy streets. We are all about fast and easy. Going slow has become a source of annoyance or boredom. Even I manage to get caught up in it all too often. Maybe it isn't bad to rush now and then, but the constant running causes us to miss so much. When was the last time you sat outside with your eyes closed and just listened? Took in all the sounds and smells?  When did you last sit in silence with nothing but your thoughts to pay attention to? When did you last stop to smell those roses (literally and figuratively?)

As a whole, I think the human race forgets that happiness doesn't have to come just from large and explosive happenings. Happiness isn't all about parties and gifts. It's not about expensive things and lavish attention. Though we love those things (of course) we don't need to base our happiness off of them. If we stop to really think about all the small things we are lucky to have then we begin to find happiness in the things that really matter. Our family, our friends, our hobbies. Because, once you can see it, you realize that is where true happiness lies. Cars, big houses, and expensive clothes. All these things only bring temporary joy. Once the newness of the items wears off so does the excitement they bring. Then you are forced to move on to the next thing. This is why some of the richest people in the world can also be some of the unhappiest. Sadly, most of the world doesn't seem to have figured this out. Everyone is rushing, striving to get the bigger and better. Now you know the secret that they don't. Now you can finally take the steps to REALLY be happy.

Revel in the smile of your baby, the laugh of your child. Immerse yourself in the sound of an instrument being played and the smell of a great dinner being cooked. Smile at a whistle. Let the world, let life, show you all it truly has to share. Choose a world full of wonder. Don't let your mind be swept up in all the tasks that you have to complete every day. Let the world and all your crazy, beautiful moments flavor your life.

I choose that world. I choose the vibrancy and the beautiful simplicity. I choose the happiness in a morning whistle.

Friday, August 15, 2014

Five Minute Friday: Tell

Here we go for the second time with Five Minute Friday. You write for five minutes. Just dump it all out. No editing, no erasing (or a least very little of it.) If you would like to join in click the button on the right side of my blog and go learn all about it. =) It's lots of fun and a great exercise.This weeks prompt word is "tell."

"Tell me. Tell me now!" He jerked her back from her attempt to flee with enough force to stop her but not enough to hurt. Still she winced. "Please." His voice took on a pleading tone, "I need an answer. I need closure."

Her eyes filled with tears as they met his. "Don't ask this of me. It's not fair."

"I have to know. If it's over, if your ready to just throw it all away, then just tell me. Tell me so I can move on." His hazel eyes shimmered with pain but he held her gaze. For a moment her forgot everything except her eyes. Those beautiful green eyes. Wide and frightened now. In those eyes was everything and nothing at the same time. A promise of forever and the bitter sting of betrayal. "Tell me the truth. Do you still love me?"

The question hung in the air, thick like fog, weighing them both down. His heart hammered. She was taking too long to answer. But what did it matter what she said anyways. It was too late for them, she had made sure of that. The gold band on her left hand proved that. A band that did not belong to him. She did not belong to him. Not anymore.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

A Military Spouse's Opinion on Robin William's Death

Following the death of Robin Williams many people have made negative comments along the lines of "Many soldiers take there life every year and no one says a thing, one celebrity kills himself and the whole world loses their mind." This is my answer to that, from the military side.

 I understand your frustration. I wish more people would appreciate the pain that many military people suffer through. I wish they would understand the depression and hopelessness that many of these men and women feel. I wish that more people in this country would make us feel more like they care about us and what we do. However, your negativity about this tragedy does not help. And this IS an tragedy. Because this goes beyond someone being a celebrity or a civilian. This is only about a human life being lost. The end. Whoever they are, they have left behind those that love them. It doesn't matter that Robin Williams was known throughout the world. What matters is that he has left behind people who loved him desperately and now they are hurting. Why mock their pain just because you are frustrated by what others choose to do or not do? You should do nothing but feel sympathetic for the family he left behind. Pray for them, send them thoughts of comfort. Despite the fact that their family has been in the lime light, they still grieve just as anyone else does and they are grieving now. They deserve your respect during their struggle. Be the bigger people. Show the world the way that you wish they would behave when confronted with the death of our friends. Spread your love, not your hate.

This is said to be letter written by Zelda Williams. If you can't see them as normal human beings after reading this and feel their pain, then you just might not be human yourself.

"My family has always been private about our time spent together. It was our way of keeping one thing that was ours, with a man we shared with an entire world. But now that’s gone, and I feel stripped bare. My last day with him was his birthday, and I will be forever grateful that my brothers and I got to spend that time alone with him, sharing gifts and laughter. He was always warm, even in his darkest moments. While I’ll never, ever understand how he could be loved so deeply and not find it in his heart to stay, there’s minor comfort in knowing our grief and loss, in some small way, is shared with millions. It doesn’t help the pain, but at least it’s a burden countless others now know we carry, and so many have offered to help lighten the load. Thank you for that.
To those he touched who are sending kind words, know that one of his favorite things in the world was to make you all laugh. As for those who are sending negativity, know that some small, giggling part of him is sending a flock of pigeons to your house to poop on your car. Right after you’ve had it washed. After all, he loved to laugh too…
Dad was, is and always will be one of the kindest, most generous, gentlest souls I’ve ever known, and while there are few things I know for certain right now, one of them is that not just my world, but the entire world is forever a little darker, less colorful and less full of laughter in his absence. We’ll just have to work twice as hard to fill it back up again."

My heart aches for the family of this wonderful man. He brought a lot of light and laughter to this world that will be greatly missed. My prayers go out to all those mourning him. Know that he was loved even by those who weren't close to him. 

- Mia

Friday, August 8, 2014

Five Minute Friday: Fill

This life. It's perfect. My heart fills with happiness every morning that I wake up next to my best friend. I'm lifted up by wonderful friends from all over the world as I message back and forth with people on Facebook. Sometimes, my heart seems so full I think it could burst. This is what everyone speaks about when they say the word "happy."

This may seem like a small thing to most people but for me it is huge. I'm the girl who forces a smile. I'm the one who cries when there seems to be nothing to cry about. I'm the one who shies away from the term "depression" simply because of the stigma attached to it. But I'm the girl who has it.


 I've spent a good part of my life struggling to hide the symptoms and most of the time I do really well. Others, not so much. I'm adept at hiding away in my own home and not venturing out into the beautiful world. That way I can keep in hidden. But the reality of it all is I'm just making it worse this way. I'm emptying my life of anything worth while. I'm taking perfection and manipulating it into darkness.

 When I choose to open my eyes and really look at my life, I realize that I have something amazing sitting right in front of me. My husband. My family. My friends. My God. They make up everything that I need. I am blessed. Truly blessed. And when I let that thought sink in, I come the the realization that I am full. Love. It fills me. It surrounds me. Love = perfection and we can't ask for anything else.


Keep L i/o ving

Thursday, August 7, 2014

When Does Your Fandom Become "Fan-don't?"

There has been a huge uproar lately about a certain book being made into a movie. Of course I'm talking about 50 Shades of Grey. I have read several blog posts and articles about it. Call in curiosity at what the world is thinking. Some I have agreed with, some I have loved, and some have just been out right offensive.

Now being a christian and a sort of "feminist" ( I use quotes because I don't find I fit the mainstream idea of a feminist these days) it seems pretty obvious what my thoughts on this "literature" is. It disgusts me. I find nothing about it romantic or fun or exciting. There is nothing about it that entices me. I will NEVER watch that movie. It is the same as porn to me. So is the book. Which makes it hypocritical to read/watch this story and yet expect your husband to only have eyes for you.

But this post is not just another bash 50 Shades post. I'm not going to repeat everything you have already heard about it though it does have to do with what I'm discussing. And it leads into it perfectly.

Fandoms come in all sorts. Some top popular ones currently are Harry Potter, Twilight, Downtown Abby, and Game of Thrones. A fandom is defined by Wikipedia as a term used to refer to a subculture composed of fans characterized by a feeling of sympathy and camaraderie with others who share a common interest. They can be really great ways to make friends and have people to share your love of certain things with. However, is there a point where they become too much? I think there is.

Now we all are used to our little teens swooning over their celebrity/fiction loves. It is part of growing up, like a passage into our awkward years, and as long as they don't go all creepy stalker about it then it isn't really a big deal. But is it ok for adults to be a part of fandoms? I think yes. To a point. As long as they keep a rational thought to it. But when middle-aged women, obviously going through a midlife crisis, show up to movies and scream like a lovesick teenie bopper then I become concerned. I mean come on ladies, lets act a little more sane then our hormonal teens. I have no issue with getting excited about meeting celebrities or really enjoying some fictional character, but when it starts effecting your every day life then it has become a problem. However, the biggest PROBLEM is that we don't seem to realize that it IS effecting our life. Because for some weird reason, women have set a major double standard in our society today. We expect our husbands to be the perfect, doting man who never have eyes for anyone else. We freak out if they glance at some young girl walking by. We nearly die if we see them staring too long at a Victoria's Secret add. And lets not even get started about them looking at porn. I'm not saying that men shouldn't be wonderful husbands who are completely faithful to their wives in both body and mind. That is exactly how men should be. They should respect us. However, we as women should be just as loyal and respectful towards our husbands. And being openly obsessed with fictional characters is the complete opposite of that.

Have you ever stopped to think how saying things like "I wish I was Bella" or "I wish Christian would hold me in his arms" makes your man feel? How about going on and on about if certain men were "hot enough" to play your fave characters? If the roles were reversed, how would it make you feel? Angry? Self-conscience? Hmmmm....interesting thought right? Just because we are the more emotional sex doesn't mean that men don't have any emotions at all. We don't have the right to be disrespectful to our marriage either. Just because your affair is with a fictional character doesn't make it any less of an affair. Yes, I said affair. It is the harsh truth. It is an emotional affair and it is just as damaging as a physical one.

Grim reality is that we need to wake up! It's time to be a little more mature and a little more humble. Enjoy your fandoms but don't let them become your fantasies. Don't let your love of books and tv shows make your husband feel like he isn't enough for you. How about tonight you put that book down or turn off that TV and make sure he knows just how wonderful you think he is. After all, he is the real thing. He is the one who actually loves you. He is the one who chose you over all else. He is your Edward. He is your Christian (if your really into that.) You are his everything and he really should be yours.

So as my friend Cassie said, you can have your Team Jacobs and your Team Edwards. I'm on Team Mariah & Brandon. I personally think it is the best team. =)

Keep L i/o ving!

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Branching Out!

Hello everyone! I've been gone for awhile due to a PCS move. But I am baaaack!

So though this blog started as just a military blog, I have been dying to branch out and talk about some other things in my life. So officially that is going down time now! =) There will still be a lot of military posts. Probably more often than not that is what the topics will be about. But I will be throwing in some religious stuff (not just about my faith) and some other happenings in my life. I welcome discussion on all topics! Luvs and hugs y'all!

Keep L i/o ving!

P.S. Blog might go through some changes physically as well. Vote...Should I change my name or keep it what it is?

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Through Green-Tinted Glasses - If You Say Plane

Sorry it took so long to post another. Life has been really crazy with us trying to get ready for our PCS.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Through Green-Tinted Glasses - It's A Gnome!

Here you go, fine folks! Our first full comic with color. So we ask you...Yes on the color or no, you prefer the black and white? Comment and vote! Thanks for the input.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Through Green-Tinted Glasses - Happy Easter

Happy Easter Y'all!!! Adding some color to our fun. It might become our new might not. Who knows. Luvs and Hugs to you all! Hope your Easter was as wonderful as ours was. M&B

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Through Green-Tinted Glasses - Creepers

Here is our newest comic! Hopefully, you all know Minecraft at least a little. =)

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Through Green-Tinted Glasses: Werehorse

New comic! Enjoy, share, comment!

Update: Yes, we are aware of the misspelling of werehorse but we are not going back through and correcting it all so there. We are imperfect. Take it or leave it. =)

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Sometimes My Hand Goes Numb - Comic

So Brandon and I have decided to start a web comic. Here is our beginnings of it. We are still working on a name for it and a location but for now here it is. Soon to grow...hopefully? =P