Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Not #1....

Ugh! It's just been one of those weeks. When I married a soldier I new it came with a price. You get to be one of the proudest women in the world when you see your husband dressed in his uniform but it also comes at the cost of knowing that when the Army calls, he goes. It doesn't matter what is going on in your life at the time. You needing him there doesn't mean that he won't go. Army first, family second. That's the life of an Army wife, of any military spouse.
I knew that when I chose to marry my husband. I had been warned by former and present military spouses. I was willing to do it for the chance to love him when he was there. However, you can never truly be prepared for what it feels like to watch your husband leave. You never are ready for that moment at night when you are crying and you need to hear his voice but he's thousands of miles away and you can't just pick up the phone and call him. You can't imagine how it feels to have hot jealousy course through you when you realize he can't be there to help you but he's helping complete strangers every day he's gone. You can't prepare for the ache you feel inside when he misses something important in your life, like an anniversary or the birth of a child. These are things that you can be told about, you can know are coming, but that you can't understand until your right there in the moment. I'm still learning every day. Deployment is a painful journey.
But, through love, it becomes worth it. Every moment that you do get to spend with your loved one is that much more special, more cherished. You become one of the people in this world who truly understands the meaning of living in the moment. Each time they return it's like falling in love for the first time all over again. When you see the pictures of them, in full gear, throwing up a peace sign next to a resident of the country they're in, you can't help but smile and over flow with pride. That's your man! He's the one who's fighting to keep everyone warm and safe in their beds. He's the picture of hope and courage. He's perfect in that moment. I don't believe there is any stronger love than the true love of a soldier and their spouse.
I married a wonderful man. Each day is a battle of my own without him. But each day I survive is a day closer to being in his arms again. That is a memory worth fighting for.
Keep L i/o ving.
Yah, it was "Mustache March." Luckily, he normally shaves
that creepy thing off. =P