Saturday, October 4, 2014

Learning To Love Those Who Don't Deserve It

There are a lot of people who come in and out of our lives who are VERY difficult to love. I pretty much run into it every day in the military. My least favorite people in this world (other than murders and those obvious choices) are people who use their power to cause pain to others, whether it be physical or emotional. I'm totally a mother hen in every way and if you become someone I care about you better believe I will go to bat for you over everything. Just ask some of the single soldiers my husband served with. =) It also carries over to people I feel need protecting in any way. This covers people being taken advantage of. It just really ruffles my feathers. I get all red in the face, puff up, and get ready for battle. My husband has had to beg me not to say things more than once because I'm so ready to take on a commander, screw the consequences.

More difficult than even these people though are those who are outright evil. Who kill and torture and destroy everything beautiful in the world for whatever their insane reason is.  Those people do not deserve love. They deserve nothing but hate and aggression given right back to them. They deserve to have done to them what they are doing to people. Currently, the number one group who are like this that come to most people's minds are the members of ISIS. If you are unfamiliar with who ISIS is then you have been living under a rock and should really go read some news articles right now. No really...go read them and come back later.

So here's the thing. ISIS and their supporters are easy to hate. They do awful things. They kill innocent people and broadcast it. They call for their followers to slaughter those who refuse to become Islamic. They believe that unless you bow down to their rule and their beliefs then you don't deserve to live. They have attacked and slaughter hundreds of people. How could these people receive anything but unbiased hate from those who are decent humans? Well, for the most part they don't. The world hates them with no reserve. I constantly see Facebook posts and Tweets about maiming ISIS members. About how the postee would like to do the same awful things to these people as they are doing to others. And I completely understand. I am HORRIFIED by what ISIS members have done. It makes me sick to think about all the threats they have made. Some of those threats have directly affected my husband and my friends. My husband and I have been forced to set up plans for what to do if we are attacked at home. Yes, hating them is easy and it makes sense. Our human nature even makes us feel that it is the right thing to do. But here is the thing, it's not.

I refuse to hate ISIS and those who follow them. That may come as a shock to you, due to their evil and hatred. Especially since they have called for their followers in the US to attack and kill soldiers. Don't get me wrong, I don't agree with anything they are doing or saying. I think they are awful people with evil ideas. However, hate has never healed anything. Hate can not heal the broken hearts of those who have lost loved ones to these maniacs. Hate can't stop the stupid actions of others. All it does is spread more anger and pain. It traps you. Leaves you feeling sick, feeling dirty. Hate hurts you the most. Because it doesn't bother the people you are hating. They don't care if you like them. They want you to be angry because then they have won. No, I won't hate the misguided...I just pity them instead.

I feel pity because of how lost they are. They are doing nothing but blackening their souls and damning themselves. I pity them for the life full of anger and hate they live. I can't imagine the pain that creates within the body. We are not meant to be hateful creatures. We are meant to love and share that love. There have been studies done on how anger, hate, and other negative feelings physically effect us. The results were never good. How awful to live a life where you have nothing but those emotions. They have no idea what love feels like. They don't understand the freeing feeling that comes from forgiving those who have wronged you. They don't get to experience peace and tranquility. The have never felt the Lord's arms around them. The idea that they never experience positive emotions because they have chosen a life full of negativity is a depressing one. When I focus on that fact, I feel pain and sadness for them. I can't hate someone who is so broken.

Returning hate with love is the only hope we have of ever changing the lives of those who are lost. If we hate them back all it does is validate their beliefs. Love throws them off. It confuses them. We can only hope that with enough love we may be able to change the minds of some. We will never be able to change everyone, they have their own free will and many are not willing to let go of the darkness in them. However, banishing the hate and anger in a single person is worth it. And erasing that anger could save hundreds of others. We never can see the total reach of love as it spreads.

I was commanded by my Father in Heaven to "love one another as I have loved you." He didn't say "love those who are easy to love" or "love only those that you want to love." No, he told me to love and forgive everyone. And that is what I'm going to strive for. It won't be easy. I'm going to fail at times and have to try again but I will continue to choose love over hate. It is what is needed of me and it is what is best for me. I want this world full of love and it has to start somewhere, why not with me. Why not let it start with you too?

Keep L i/o ving.

Friday, September 26, 2014

Five Minute Friday: Because

If you haven't read my post before and seen my description of Five Minute Friday then shame on you and go read them. Then you can join in. =)
Five minutes. Write what comes out. No editing. Post. Here it goes.


Because I love you. That simple statement revolves around my life. It has shaped me into who I am.

As a child I was never good at following rules. It got even worse as a teenager. I was never that kid you could say "Don't do this" and I would just listen. I always had to know "why." But just being told why wasn't good enough, I had to try it for myself. Tell me "Don't touch the stove, it is hot and will burn you" meant that sure as the sun rises I was going to touch that stove just to make sure no one was lying to me. All of this added up to one poor mother losing her hair and sleep over me. I have to take responsibility for all her grey hairs. The poor woman had her hands full. No normal lady could have handled raising the nightmare that I was. But she did it. She never gave up on me. Despite all our fighting and disagreeing, I have never doubted her intent. Whether it was following a party or her announcing how long I was grounded this time, she always made sure that I knew why she did everything that she did. "Because I love you."

Just as my mother has always been there for me, I have always known there was someone else guiding me along my path. My Father in Heaven has never left me on my own either. Even though there were times in my life that I pushed away from him hard. There were days I refused to pray, believing he couldn't possibly care about me. Yet every time I have found myself on my knees, I have felt his presence. He has blessed me immensely in my life which shows his obvious love. However, there are times in my life that are riddled with trials that I don't always feel like I can handle. At times I feel like I just can't take anymore and I don't understand why the Lord is allowing me to hurt so much. But in both cases, blessing or trials, the answer is always the same. "Because I love you."

My husband has the same loyalty. No matter what I do he never falters in his love for me. I can yell, scream, cry, refuse to get up in the morning and he is still there. Every day he tells me I am beautiful and encourages me to keep going. He tells me that he will always be there. He agreed to spend eternity by my side and he has never once showed any sign of regretting that choice. Sometimes, upon realizing just how flawed I am, I ask why he sticks around. His answer is always the same. "Because I love you."

 I am surrounded by love in my life. That makes me extremely lucky. It leaves my heart full and overflowing. It leaves me able to spread love to those around me. That is what I want to strive for every day. To love those all those around me. To brighten the lives of everyone I come in contact with even just a little bit. Just a smile helps. Or taking a moment to get to know a stranger. One day I hope I am blessed to have children of my own that I can raise filled with love. If I am half the mother that my mom was I will be lucky. I want to be what my Father asks of me, to love as he loves. So if I meet you on the street just know that this is what my smile is saying to you, "Because I love you."

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Five Minute Friday: Hold

Five Minute Friday is a flash mob of writers who get together every Friday with a "prompt word" and write for five min then post. No editing, no second guessing your ideas. You just write what the word first brings to your mind and let it flow out. Join us! I have a button link on the right side of my blog! >>>>>>>>>>

Some background on this piece. I believe that there was a life before this one where we lived with God as spirits. We had a very personal relationship with Him, each and everyone of us. He loved us then just as he loves us now. We were sent to this Earth to gain knowledge and things that we needed in order to grow and move forward. We will return to our Father's side after this life. This is a sort of interaction that I could see happening as we were headed down to Earth. Whether you believe the same as me or not, try reading this and picturing yourself in this situation. Does it not feel beautiful. =)


"Hold me. Don't let go." She pressed her face into his shoulder as his arms wrapped around her, comforting and safe.

His voice was deep and soothing. A voice that brought warmth to her heart. "It's okay, child. Though it will seem a long time, you will only be gone mere minutes to me."

"So you won't forget me?"

"I could never forget you. I love you. You are very dear and special to me."  A chuckle was in his voice.

"But Father, what if I can't do this? What if I get lost?"

"You are strong and smart. I have equipped you with everything you will need. You will have a loving family and a strong group of friends. But most important, you will have your heart. That beautiful, pure heart. Trust it. It will never mislead you. It will bring you home to me." His arms were warm as he pulled her in again, hugging her tight. "And I will be waiting. I will be watching. You only have to call out to me and I will be there. I will never leave you to deal on your own. Even when you feel far away from me and think I'm not listening, I will be there. I will see every tear and cry with you. I will feel every heartbreak and my heart will break with yours. I will hear every laugh and laugh along. No matter the pain or the happiness, I will embrace it with you. And when the wind blows through your hair or the sun shines on your face, know it is me comforting you."

She looked up into his loving eyes. "Do you promise, Father."

His face lit up into a glowing smile as he stared down into his most prized creation. "I promise, my dear child. You are my princess. Now hurry along. It is your turn on Earth."

He released his hold on her and she started to scamper away. But she turned back, eyes wide. He smiled again and said, " Remember child, always remember, I love you." Her face shone with the most beautiful smile he had ever seen and she left. His eyes turned toward Earth, far below, and saw her there. "See you soon, my dear one."

Friday, September 12, 2014

Five Minute Friday: Ready

Back with this weeks Five Minute Friday. If you would like to join in on the flash mob of writers that use a prompt word to write for five minutes every Friday, click the link on the right side of my blog.


Be ready. I hate those two words when it comes to being in the military. It is usually followed with "...deployment." It's how it always starts. Be ready for your husband to deploy. Be ready for the chance that we are deploying. Be ready. Even now, knowing my husband is non-deployable, my heart races a little faster when someone in uniform says it. Maybe it's a little silly. People use those words in every day life, but my life isn't normal. My marriage has never been normal. We have spent more than half of it apart, with him in a foreign country fighting for our freedom. As proud as I am for what he has done, it has never been easy. There is nothing easy or refreshing or fun about being separated from your best friend for months at a time. So when something triggers the memory of him leaving (white buses do this to me MAJORLY) then I react. Heart pounding, breath caught in my throat, hands shaking. Don't take my husband again. It's a visceral reaction. It happens in a split second. There is no controlling it. Then it passes and I'm calm again. Most people would never even know it happened. Most people will never see and understand my thoughts. And that is okay because I do not wish for everyone to live this life. I stand tall and proud of the choice my husband has made but I do not want anyone to feel the pain of deployment. I love those who have suffered through it alongside me but I don't wish it on anyone.